It's that blessed time of year again - the unveiling of this year's Miss Double D-cember contestants!

7:11 - Petros Papadakis
Petros talked about the suspended Clipper announcers, USC vs. UCLA, and his love for the Ray J reality show.

7:45 - The Butterball Turkey Hotline Call
It's that time of year again!  Bean called up the Butterball Turkey Hotline again to pretend he was having trouble with his turkey - because  he couldn't catch it!  The woman who answered not only played along (suggesting Bean call the by a name), but she also invited Bean to come over to HER house for Thanksgiving dinner! Bean was thrilled, and boasted: "I'm SO gonna nail her!" Ralph compared it to a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, with a happy ending for everyone....so to speak.

8:12 - Adam Carolla
Adam ranted about "Let's Get It On" song lyrics from the 70s and his rules on Thanksgiving food (real cranberry sauce only, no funky pies).

This Week in Rage:
3. Boxing photos - in the Pacquiao/Cotto post-fight statistics, they showed a pre-fight, healthy, determined photo of Cotto above his stats.  Instead, they should him beaten and sad, to make it match his result.
2. Burnt toast - Why do toasters have settings that burn toast? Jacuzzis and heaters don't have settings that burn you. Yet toasters have a Wesley-Snipes-dark setting.
1. Electric knives - How lazy a society are we that we need electric knives?  Also they should invent a knife that butters your bread for you. Or kills your wife!

9:30 - Ashley Green
The hot actress from Twilight: New Moon talked about how they have already finished filming the NEXT Twilight movie (!), handling Twilight mania, Robert Pattinsons' whininess, and Kevin's demand for a lesbian storyline with Bella.


Monday: 3 Miss Double D-cember contestants visit!

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Sorry for the lack of updates.

Bean was back from his vacation to where he grew up, in the DC/Maryland area.

Almost Acoustic Xmas 2009 has been announced, and has since sold out.

6:25 - Bean's Rental Car Was Stolen...Or WAS It?
Back from vacation, Bean told about how he couldn't find his car in downtown Annapolis. He walked a number of blocks hunting for it, then hired a cab to drive around the neighborhood looking for it, and was also driven around by a cop, before a bike cop finally found it parked one block farther away than where he thought he had parked it.  Kevin doubted Bean's story. He suspected that, knowing Mr. Worst-Case Scenario as he does, Bean immediately reported his car stolen when he didn't see it.
 
6:40 - Seth Green
The actor called in to promote his horrible-looking new movie Old Dogs, starring Robin Williams and John Travolta.

7:25 - Marc Headley, Ex-Scientologist
Marc Headley spent basically his whole life in Scientology, but recently broke away. He has written a book revealing secrets about the organization: Blown for Good – Behind the Iron Curtain of Scientology.  He talked about how Scientology security tried to run him off the road as he left the compound; their human rights abuses; and their policy of disconnecting from families; auditing Tom Cruise (including the search for Tom's wife). 

He also answered listener's questions about their stance on psychiatric drugs (they hate psychiatrists more than anything); whether he thinks they are a religion or a cult (his answer: they're a business); and whether he thinks they are growing or dying (dying - more and more people have been come out with their negative experiences lately).

8:12 - The Friends & Helpers Charity Drive
Kevin's wife Melissa came into the studio to promote their annual Christmas/Hanukkah adopt-a-family/stocking charity drive.  Go to Friendsandhelpers.org to donate.

8:42 - Harvey Levin
Harvey talked about how Michael Jackson's legally doomed doctor is - get this - back WORKING!

9:15 - Miss Cleo Was Completely Inappropriate
Miss Cleo told about how she was working at her day job at a kid's clothing store, when a mom took her her 2 young girls to the dressing room by saying: "Come on girls, let's go get naked."  Without hesitating - and having spent way too much time with K&B - she blurted out a lusty "Yeeeeaaaah!" She was immediately horrified, and assumed she was going to be fired on the spot.  Luckily the mom laughed it off.  The others also admitted that they had inappropriately blurted out other K&B-isms like "BOOOOOOOOOO!" and "Yeah Eric", only to get blank/annoyed looks from other people.



Tomorow: Internet Roundup, storm chasers, Jim Gaffigan, office pranks, and Psycho Mike's conversation with Spencer and Heidi at their book signing...during which Mike was being escorted out by security.

7:12 - Listener Call-In: You Can Only Poop at Home
A What It Do caller yesterday told she was on a date with a guy, and he casually mentioned how he only pooped at home.  If that wasn't bad enough, he then made her go to his home and sit in the for 30 minutes while he visited the restroom!  Omar's brother Eric (yup, he's the one and only "Yeah Eric") also did the same thing, and called in to admit that when he goes to Vegas for the weekend, he won't go #2 for the entire weekend!  When hanging up Omar hilariously told him, "Everything's going to BE ok, all right?"

Listeners called in with their stories: one girl admitted that even going in a hotel, she had to turn on the shower because she was afraid people would hear her (Kevin observed that she must have a megaphone for an ass); one girl admitted she would rather go outside than a place that wasn't her  home; a guy told about a girl he dated whose entire family did the same thing, and even had a code phrase:  "going home". Kevin suggested the phrase, "I'm having a brownout."

7:45 - The Woman Whose Face Was Torn Off by a Chimp
Bean played clips from Opraph's story on the woman whose face was torn off by a chimp.  It sounded absolutely horrific, but Bean he now had his Halloween costume idea for next year.

8:55 - Ralph Showbiz Beat: Carrie Prejean on Larry King
Kathy Griffin joined the conversation about Larry's awkward, then aborted interview with the ever-entertaining Carrie Prejean.

9:12 - Kathy Griffin
Kathy was celebrating Carrie Prejean Day as she talked about her cancelled dancing reality show, her past encounters with Andre Agassi (she thought he was a giant tool because he didn't like her vulgarity - this from a guy who we  just found out was doing meth at the time) and ambushing Barbara Walters while she was peeing.  She'll be performing at the Gibson Amp Thanksgiving, has a holiday CD called "Sucking It for the Holidays", and a book out called Official Book Club Selection (which she'll be signing on Tuesday 7pm at The Grove's Barnes and Noble).  Later, a listener called and told about how she told her boss about Carrie Prejean Day, and he gave her the day off!

7:20 - Game: Miss Cleo's Title Fight
The contest was for Weezer tickets, but it really doesn't even matter what the prize is now - Miss Cleo's awful clues are now comedy gold, and the boys will come up with any reason to hear her try again. Unfortunately, she did shockingly well this time, coaxing FOUR correct answers from one guy.  Kevin wondered what drugs she was suddenly on.  

7:33 - G4's Adam Sessler on New Video Games
Bean tried to talk about the anniversary of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, but luckily for all listeners, Kevin overrode him to talk to Adam about the release of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

8:25- Listener Call-In: Lame Ways You Tried to Impress a Chick...and Failed Badly
When Kevin Smith was co-hosting the show a few weeks ago, he told about how he tried to impress a girl long ago (when the Tim Burton Batman movies were all the rage) by leaving a card on her car that simply said "look up". When she did so, she saw him standing up on the ROOF of the store, dressed as Batman, complete with a long overcoat. He then dramatically spread out his coat as if it was a Bat Cape. It was very cool...until he had to ask her help in getting down from the roof!

One guy told about how he covered a girl's place with daisies...only to discover that she was violently allergic to them.  Another guy was doing one-armed pushups to impress a girl when he...um..."sharted" into his pants. With everyone laughing, he had to run to the bathroom in total shame. Another accidentally dropped a $5,000 wedding ring just before he porposed...in a hot-air BALLOON.  Finally, a guy accidentally lit his face (and nearby plants) on fire while while playing with Everclear. Even more amazingly, the girl he was trying to impress still went out with him afterwards!

9:12 - Bobby Slayton
The Pitbull of Comedy talked about "homo" holiday drinks, his Showtime special, getting kicked out of his gig at the Tropicana Las Vegas by its new owners, Octomom wants to open a day care center, and the real reason why guys don't ask for directions. He'll be performing at the OC Pavilion in Santa Ana this Friday, and the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club at Universal CityWalk on Thanksgiving (get 2 for 1 tickets if you mention "Kevin and Bean" or his pet name for Lisa, "Ellie May the Traffic Broad").


Tomorrow: Jay Mohr, Mr. Skin, Psycho Mike and Kevin ambush Harvey Levin today.

6:12 - Miss Cleo's Bad Title Fight Clues
Bean proclaimed Miss Cleo by far the worst Title Fight clue-giver they've ever had.  Case in point: her "clocks" clue. They also revisited some of her disasters during the recent U2 version.  Like this one, for "One": "The next number before 2"  Or this one for "New Year's Day: "You celebrate this on 31st of December". Or thinking "Vertigo" was a color. Or this for "Bullets of Blue Sky": "This comes out of a gun and you can put it up with the clouds." She rules.

7:12 - Sex Rehab With Doctor Drew
Kevin recapped highlights from the latest episode of the VH1 show.

8:45 - Harvey Levin From TMZ
Harvey gave his thoughts on Rihanna's 20/20 interview and Andre Aggassi's 60 Minutes interview. And also an update on Carrie Prejean: she' promoting her new book, in which she ironically complains about prevalence of porn in the media today!  The boys took the opportunity to chastise Harvey again for not sending them the Carrie Prejean masturbation video.  Kevin even planned to drop by Harvey's office later today.

9:16 - ESPN's Bill Simmons' Basketball Book
ESPN's The Sports Guy came into the studio to talk about his book, The Book of Basketball, a 700 page behemoth of a work that traces the history of the NBA. The boys were suprised to learn such fascinating tidbits like how the NBA was really not all that popular until mid 80s the NBA Finals were shown tape-delayed in 1981; how the 1966 Minneapolis Lakers entire team almost died in a plane crash (prompting the creation of a secret NBA "catastrophe plan"); the horrors of DOnald Sterling and the Clippers; his distaste for how the current draft works; and his idea to create a reality show where NBA players have to explain their tattoos.

Listeners called in with their questions, in which he believed there was a remote possibility of Lebron James becoming a Laker!  As a Celtics fan, it killed him. Mwahahaha.

7:12 - Adam Carolla: This Week in Rage

3. Queen's "We Are the Champions" - The Yankees won the World Series and played this cliche song. Adam pointed out that a.) Freddie didn't seem exactly like a sports fan; b.) the song is ancient now, at 32 years old; c.) and Freddie died of AIDS. Play something else already! 

2. The DC Sniper is finally being put to death next Tuesday - His lawyer arguing that he's too crazy for the death penalty. But isn't that the ideal situation to put someone down? He has no idea what's going on.  Plus it was a whole 7 years ago when that happened. Put him down already!

1. Adam was at a Blog World convention and saw thousands of mommy bloggers, writing about the joys of giving birth. Big f'ing deal - it's like 40 year old guys talking about discovering the joys of masturbation. "Shut up already, bitches!"

7:45 - The Fireflies Song - Psycho Mike's Rock Version
Lots of KROQ listeners are demanding the horrible, super-flimsy Fireflies song. So Dave came up with an idea: have Psycho Mike's band (Murder on the 405) do a serious rock version of it. They played the result. Everyone agreed that though the lyrics were still bad, it was much more tolerable. One of the band member's dad described it as "Judas Priest doing showtunes". Bean felt that if the Owl City version is swine flu, then Psycho Mike's version is the regular flu.

8:25 - Penn Jillette
The taller (and speaking) half of Penn and Teller  talked about the legal nightmare using live guns and ammo in their magic show when touring (especially when performing in the same show as George H.W. Bush in DC); new tricks in their show; and seeing Bono get bopped in the face with a microphone at U2's Vegas concert.  They are doing a brief, rare CA tour in Thousand Oaks tonight and Lancaster tomorrow. 

9:13 - Alex Borstein
The voice of Lois on Family Guy promoted the special episode this Sunday night at 8:30: Family Guy Presents Seth and Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show. Alex told about how Microsoft was excited to sponsor the show...until they actually saw it, were appalled, and backed out.  So it should be fun!

9:28 - Game: U2 Title Fight With Miss Cleo
Miss Cleo recently had a disasturous time giving clues in the Foo Fighter Title Fight game for the song "Time's Like These".  It was so magical that they had her back for this game - this time giving clues for BOTH contestants.  She followed through with more craziness, like thinking vertigo was a color, celebrating New Year's Day on Dec. 31st, and spitting out "you put it up in the clouds" for the phrase "(Bullets) In the Sky".  The boys ended up giving both the contestants the tickets.

Monday: highlights of Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, people who got into a fight in a movie theater, Spencer Pratt the motivational speaker, and ESPN's Bill Simmons.

6:36 - The Tricked-Out, Motorized La-Z Boy
In Proctor, Minnesota, a guy was arrested for drunk driving. The twist was this: he wasn't driving a car, but a specially made, motorized Laz-Z Boy CHAIR!  Fascinated, the boys called up the city's police chief. He revealed that the drunk guy didn't create the chair himself; that the chair complete with a a lawn mower engine, stereo, headlights, and cup holders; and that the the police department had tried to auction the chair on eBay (bidding was up to $43,000 before the La-Z Boy company made eBay take it down for trademark reasons).   Bean and Kevin wanted to get ahold of dude who originally made it - they want to drive one from LA to Minnesota!

7:09 - Robert Hilburn
The LA Times music critic dropped in to promote his new book Corn Flakes With John Lennon, in which he reminisces about his personal experiences with some of the major artists that he has interviewed. Like Michael Jackson and Bono.  

7:43 - Twilight's Kellan Lutz
The actor who plays Emmett in the Twilight movies talked about New Moon and how he deals with all the crazy Twi-tards.

8:12 - Death Cab for Cutie
Ben and Nick came into the studio and talked about their single for Twilight: New Moon, called "Meet Me on the Equinox". The 2 played an acoustic version of that live, as well as "I'll Follow You Into the Dark".  They were also subjected to Psycho Mike's parody version of that song, called "I'll Follow You When You Fart".  After just the first verse, Ben joked that he need to hear any more of it.  Kevin offered to burn him a CD of it for him to keep.  Death Cab will be playing their song live at Hollywood and Highland with some other bands as part of a Twilight event tomorrow night.

8:55 - Ralph Showbiz Beat
The boys were furious at Harvey Levin.  They heard that TMZ had gotten ahold of the Carrie Prejean masturbation video but DIDN'T share it with them! So in place of the Showbiz beat, they called Harvey up and chastised him mercilessly.  He still refused to send it to them though.

9:16 - Luc Robitaille
The LA King talked about being inducted into the NHL Hall of Fame, the difficulty of making it in the NHL (he was drafted 171st!), how his own kids don't care a whit about hockey, and his inside knowledge of the infamous Marty McSorley stick incident (he heard that someone on the Candadiens had convinced the equipment security guard to look away so they could check out the sticks before that game).  You have a chance to meet Luc yourself at a Hall of Fame charity gala on Dec. 5.


Alex Borstein, U2 tickets, Penn Jillette, Adam carolla, director of Paranormal Activity

7:12 - Shaun White
The snow/skateboarder dropped by to talk about travelling around the world, how mom used to cram the family in a van overnight during ski trips, the upcoming Olympics, and his WII video game World Stage.

7:42 - Bean's in a Rush
Bean has an annoying habit of shortening phrases and names.  Kevin played clips of some of his lamer recent attempts, like "AGT" (for America's Got Talent), "Drac" (for Dracula), "Jig" (for Jigsaw), "the Troub" (for The Troubadour), and "Dez" (for Dezzie). Bean defended himself by claiming he did for casual/friendly reasons - and that he was a busy guy.

8:12 - Game: The Smartest Woman in the World (Not)
For tickets to U2's concert in Anaheim next JUNE, listeners had to guess whether Miss Cleo would be able to correctly answer some geography questions.

8:25 - Listener Call-In: Your Weak Sauce Spank Bank
In the news, a guy in Ohio was caught with stolen X-rays and mammograms. It turns out he was using them at home for masturbation material!! Talk about lame spank material!  Psycho Mike admitted the lamest thing he has used: a pamphlet for a convalescent home (there was a photo of a nurse in it).  

Listeners called in with their depraved stories: a guy used to record bra commercials on his VCR to re-use; a church newsletter (there was a girl in a photo); a human anatomy sketch book; an encyclopedia entry for 'vagina'; instructions for tampons (the diagram!); and, easily the worst of them all - a guy who used a drawing of a naked woman on the wall of a porta-potty!  A GIRL also admitted to using the photos of the hot, semi-naked guys in male underwear package inserts.  Lisa agreed with her.

Oddly, Kevin disappeared after the first segment (and for the rest of the show) without any word.

9:08 - The CBS Employee Helpline
Kevin forgot his company username and password for updating some health insurance stuff.  Oddly, none of his security questions worked either, in recovering them. So he called the CBS Radio employee helpline. Unfortunately, he was just as inept in speaking out his name on the phone and ended up completely (and hilariously) screwed up everything even more.  The system (Ralph) recorded his new name: "Mr. What Comeon", wife named"Sorry", and children named "Uh uh" and "All Right!".  

9:22 - Psycho Mike's "Farts" Song
At KROQ.com, you can hear Psycho Mike's remake of LMFAO's horrible song "Shots". Mike managed to make an even more deplorable song, called "Farts".

7:20 - Chester Bennington and the KROQ Kreep Show
They announced this year's K&B Halloween party today: the KROQ Kreep Show at Social Hollywood this Halloween night.  The twist: Chester Bennington will be playing with his band Dead By Sunrise!

7:35 - Ralph Character: Bill Belichick
The Patriots demolished Tampa Bay yesterday in a game held in London, England, but Coach Belichick is still not happy. 

8:12 - Sal Masekela
The Red Bull Soap Box Derby judge defended the low score he gave the KROQ "Summer of Death" team, citing their embarrassingly lame pre-race skit. Black listener Anel (who played Michael Jackson in the performance) called in to chew out his fellow black man. Sal also talked about running the New York Marathon next week.  You can sponsor him via his mentoring charity at runsalrun.com.

8:40 - Gossip From TMZ
Producer Mike Walters talked about their latest stories: how Balloon Boy's dad organized a rally for his own behalf, Shauna Sand's allegedly-stolen sex tape, and the possibility of a David Letterman security camera sex tape!

9:15 - The Northwest Airlines Pilots
Landing in Minnesota recently, 2 Northwest pilots overshot a runway by 150 MILES. What could they have been doing? Kevin and Bean got ahold of the audio from the plane's flight recorder, and played it.  It turned out they were a gay couple having an argument about their personal relationship.

9:26 - Internet Roundup
Some of the new videos highlighted in the Internet Roundup at KROQ.com:

- The Drunkest Guy Ever
- Kid Tasers Himself
- White MSNBC host Contessa Brewer calls Jesse Jackson "Al Sharpton"
- Seth Green's 1992 commercial advertising the Nerf Slingshot

 

Tomorrow: Flea, and Katie Cassidy from Melrose Place